September 05, 2011

Rude Jude Talks Oscar

http://rudejude.tumblr.com/post/80697712/oscar

motherfuckin queen latifah fucked up my favorite part of the oscars: the dead people part. i tivoed that shit just to see the dead actors. nobody wants to see her big, U.N.I.T.Y., who you callin a bitch, livin single ass, in a blue dress butchering a shitty song for the dead. isaac hayes deserved better than that. paul newman deserved better than that. ricardo montebon deserved better than that. shit, alicia keys was there tonight, she’s not good enough to sing? no let’s get a fucking rapper to do the honors. the camera panned to latifah’s ass like 3 times during the dead people shit. why? because i want to see the living when celebrating the dead. hrrmmm and real classy you liberal fucks for barely clapping and showing charleton heston no love.. i know he likes gun but shit let bygones be bygones, dude did planet of the apes. give’m a break, he was moses

…..and the “citizen cane best movie ever made, shit doesn’t stink” award goes to slumdog millionaire. i mean dag, i thought the movie was cool but get off their dick. they act like the only other movie to come out besides slumdog was pineapple express. what it win like 15 awards?

a special fuck you goes out to bill mahr. way to repeatedly plug your shitty documentary film, while giving out the best doc award you tacky asshole. you even found a way to bitch that you weren’t nominated too. class act. i saw your doc, it sucked. it was lazy and one sided. it didn’t deserve a nomination. you told me everything i already heard from youtube propaganda videos, dick. the only thing religulous did successfully was make the first pro-jewish anti religion movie i ever saw.

i was on the horn with my homie emile and he was all bummed cause mickey rourke didnt win best actor for the wrestler. i was like, “who won?” he told me sean penn, for milk. i was like dude what you expect? you wanna win an oscar? your best bet is to be playing the part as one of the three following: a jew in a concentration camp ala adrian brody, a functioning retard ala rainman, or you better be chugging cock, if you’re gay with aids that’s even better. if you’re a gay retarded jew in the holocaust you’re golden. hollywood loves that shit because it’s run by jews and gays and retards. they relate. i’m not saying it’s a conspiracy, it just tugs on their heart strings. sean penn was tongue kissing the fuck outta dudes in that flick so you know mickey rourke didnt stand a chance. fuck it. rourke still has his pretty face.

the wrestler was the shit by the way. it reminded me of my dad. he wasnt a wrestler but he’s a man that lost everything chasing a dream he never quite caught and alienated a bunch of people on the way. it hit close to home it tugged on my heart strings, i guess we’re all a little biased. when it comes to who we want to get the award.who the fuck cares the oscar’s are a crock of shit anyway, i just watch it to look at the dresses ;)